Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
This is the prime rib incident all over again
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
