you would pick up someone in the library
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
