I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
