ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
