My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
