You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
