You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
