mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize