considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
