And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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