ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
