Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
