I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
They have beer where we have blood.
And then he peed in my hair
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