Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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