the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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