Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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