Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
