i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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