i will never coherently bang her
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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