Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
