On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
