I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I had to cum in my sink.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
