i may or may not be watching the land before time
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
