someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
