I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
