I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
