bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
