I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
