We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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