I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
