We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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