Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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