Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
