OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
