Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
