I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize