Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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