big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
