There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
did i walk over a car last night?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
