In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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