Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
