she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
