Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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