he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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