I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
