I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
