I heard we made out
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize