I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
