Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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