dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
