Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
