Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
