oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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