There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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