a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
