hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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