I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Two words: blizzard sex
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
