My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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