good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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