and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
