its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
