you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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