o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
