Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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