First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
