Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize