He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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